
"Spurred on by his crazy, bird-loving mom (Rubenstein in her outrageously bizarre best), he goes out and rips people's eyes out for fun. Here, Luna crafts a powerful scare film where the dread and suspense is palpable. I found myself scrunching down in my seat along with Patty and feeling every moment of her anguish." At Midnight I'll Take Your Soul (1964) "It sounds to me like we’ve got Satan’s badass on our hands. The philosophy of Ze and the film itself are bold and timeless. The darkness in the soul of Ze is unmatched by any other film villain I have yet to see."
"I've never seen someone try so hard to be a scary bad-ass and come off as a chia pet-faced dork that is as threatening as a stomach ache. The only effective things in the movie are the shots of people actually jabbing themselves with hypodermic needles." Cemetery of Terror (1985) “Despite a ridiculous plot full of too many coincidences and a lazy opening, I thoroughly enjoyed this film. When it came to killing, the film did not disappoint with maximum damage inflicted with a surprising helping of gore.”
"This plays out more like a sci-fi drama with a death match battle. The demon rat just wanders around the house till they encounter him at the end. I have to add that in no way you can confuse this thing for a rat. It’s Bigfoot with long hair and a tail. The body looks humanoid and he stands erect." Don't Panic (1989) "It’s Michael’s birthday and after the main party ends at his house ,Michael’s real friends show up to get drunk and play Ouija. Michael is a queer young man, and perhaps that was the funniest part of the movie. So I guess the message is clear. Don’t play with Ouija boards or it will screw up your life and kill your close friends." Santo on the Border of Terror "The film is basically a warning to Mexican refugees who cross the border daily. On the way home, they are attacked because the girlfriend is hot, and Santo saves them. They get back to her apartment, and Santo agrees to pay for the operation because he is a nice guy. His body harvesting plans have allowed him to create two zombie-like thugs to aide him in his goal of making enough money to rule the world or something like that." This Night I Will Possess Your Corpse (1967) "There are still rumors that he is a murderer and a son of the devil. The rumors are apparently true, because he spends most of the movie bullshiting about occult philosophy or some crap like that. Unfortunately, everyone finds out that he kidnapped a shitload of girls and he is chased into the dark woods of a Brazilian warehouse. Then some stupid shit happens, and it goes on way too long, and the movie thankfully ends." Tintorera (1977) "They have dinner together, and then they have sex; they explore some ruins and take pictures, and then they have sex; they go swimming and then they have sex. Basically, that's the whole damn movie, and then Miguel is killed by the shark, Gabriella leaves, and Steven goes out and seeks revenge on the shark. I also try to forget the fact that they made the shark breath like Darth Vader."
"Jodorowsky's unique vision of a western is at times frustrating, but rewarding in its ballsy attitude. When they hit the town of Cochise, sadly a solid hour, becomes boring and pretentious, causing this critic to lose interest in the film and its characters very quickly ..." Vacations of Terror (1989) "Their sister Gaby finds the doll and opens up the door to relentless witch attacks. Things from eggs breaking, lights being turned on and off to psychic attacks She’s thrown at least twice across the room and Julio is flung into a mirror and gets swallowed up in it. The effects are pure crap, but kind of charming on occasion." Vacations of Terror 2 (1991) "...the Witch manages to shrink Mayra and turn her into a sugar statue, which is then placed on the giant cake from before and is set on fire. Julio saves the sugar doll from the fiery cake and restores her to actual size with another one of his exploding ceramic discs. Sure, it has a dumbass name, and its a sequel to a movie that probably not many people saw, but its as entertaining as any special effects horror show America ever turned out." |





