30 Days of Night (2007)
I bring hope, dear bloodsucking fiends, in the form of a kick-ass vampire movie that deserves to be praised. ..... lengthy and
spectacularly gory survival story as they try to outwit the superhuman demons and stay alive for the month until sunrise.
Amateur Porn Star Killer 2 (2008)
Shane Ryan stars and directs this disturbing peek into the sexual wanderings of a serial rapist and murderer. The movie is
presented in a series of snuff clips shot by the killer. AMATEUR PORN STAR KILLER 2 is a perfect example of a modern day sex
exploitation flick sure to make H.G. Lewis and Friedman proud.
Barn of the Naked Dead (1974)
They wander inside and find, to their amazement, a whole bunch of young and not-so-young women tied to the walls with chains.
Before they have a chance to react, Andre shows up and forces the girls to join his collection.He also keeps a cougar or
something like that in a cage, and uses it to torture the girls that misbehave, or try to escape. There is also a mutant freak
wandering around the property that might or might not be Andre's dad, and he ends up killing lots of the girls.
Blood Diner (1987)
Now, led by their brain-in-a-jar uncle, the boys prepare to construct a body for Sheetar from the multiple corpses of loose
women. a hooker gets her head deep-fried, to the rival vegetarian restaurant owner's fixations with a creepy Mexican
ventriloquist dummy.
Blood Feast (1963)
So he limps across town killing young women and stealing their body parts to cook in a stew in honor of Ishtar. With “BLOOD
FEAST” directed by Herschell Gordon Lewis, the godfather of gore and produced by David Friedman, gore films were born.
Blood Seekers (1971)
With a name like “BLOOD SEEKERS” you’d think you’d be in for a bloody treat. Then you find out it’s a tame Philippine horror film
from the ’71 which plays more like a dumb murder mystery, and you’ll be hard-pressed to find a drop of blood. The movie was
actually filmed entirely in the Philippines in the early sixties in black and white.
Boston Strangler, The (1968)
A mad man, played surprisingly well by Tony Curtis, is on the loose strangling women. Possessing a split personality, De Salvo
manages to trick his way into the apartments of unsuspecting women, strangles them violently, then leaves and goes about
his day as if nothing happened.
Brotherhood of Satan, The (1971)
It turns out a coven of old people satanists have set up shop in town, and are stealing children for a dastardly purpose. I was
riveted from beginning to end, trying to figure out what was going on, and how it would all come to an end. This film was
surprisingly good.
The Burning (1981)
Let me start off by saying that this is a blatant rip-off of “FRIDAY THE 13th“. Some people say it’s better than “FRIDAY THE 13th”
and has bloodier killings. I think they each have their charm. Breasts are always a plenty in any bonafide slasher and this one is
no exception. The characters are goofy and fun in this movie. We mostly have pranksters and horny guys. The girls are mainly
teases.
Cannibal Campout (1988)
My conception on the limits of gore in films was raped hard, until I loved it. During one scene I slid across the floor to the TV. and
praised the images on the screen like a pagan idol. Remember when I told you that she was pregnant ? And there are three
hungry cannibals present. You do the math. The final act of violence is so horrendous you might feel guilty and dirty for watching
it. But that has worn off on me.
Cellar Dweller (1988)Jeffrey Combs as a cartoonist that unleashes a demon through his drawings, which leads to his fiery
demise as well as the demon's (or so we think). I'd have to say the Dweller ranks right up there on my top ten favorite monsters
list.
Cheerleader Camp (1987)
Welcome to Camp Hurrah where lame, hollow, stereotypical characters wind up in goofy situations, talk nonsense and are
killed in rather boring fashion.... the fat dude and the other man-cheer-leader give us a somewhat lengthy rap introduction to
cheer up the squad.
Christmas Evil (1980)
"Yes, this movie IS one of the many “man in a Santa suit killer” films, but apart from that the story is as rich, complex, and
intriguing as any psychological horror film out there. ...Poor Harry then has flashbacks of his over-sexed parents making love in
inopportune moments, when Harry is watching."
C.H.U.D. (1984)
The movie would have been a bleak unwatchable disaster if it wouldn’t have been for the fact that the bums mutate into
grotesque killers. There is a scene where George’s wife is taking a shower (no gifts here ) and when she reaches down to
unclog the shower drain her naked body is splattered with blood when the drain spits it out . I always enjoy seeing blood on a
woman.
Clawed: The Legend of Sasquatch (2005)
If it’s about Bigfoot, it‘s gotta be bad, right? Considering we can’t even get any good proof they exist, the movies can’t be good
either? Right? Well you know this might surprise you.
Color me Blood Red (1965)
Soon enough Sorg discovers that he likes to paint with blood instead of red paint. And wouldn't you believe it that the work he
does in blood wins him great acclaim. We are tortured by scenes of playful, innocent 60’s teen frolic complete with
marshmallow and weenie roast.
Critters (1986)
Just when you thought it was safe to live in a small, Midwestern town, in come those prickly little buggers, The Critters! Also, they
can form into these balls & roll around @ high speeds! Careful, "they eat so fast, you don't have time to scream!"
Devil Dog: The Hound of Hell (1978)
"The dog realizes Maria is the stereotypically religious Spanish lady, so he causes her to catch fire and watches her burn to
death. No one suspects the dog. Why would they? As far as demon dog movies go however, this is pretty tame stuff, but it's
great Saturday night fun and who says you need gore when you have Kim Richards!"
Don't go in the Woods (1981)
The plot is as simple as can be. Four dumbass campers, two guys and two girls, go into the woods (which we already know by
the title is a bad idea) and get hunted and killed by a reject from "THE HILLS HAVE EYES".
Dracula, Bram Stoker's (1992)
This multi-colored, psychedelic, comic book version of Dracula was not sweet to the taste. Then he implies a pretentious poetic
wave with the whole love story nonsense. Towards the end the film tried to portray Dracula’s human nature but it was much too
late.
Driller Killer, The (1979)
These characters feel so real that it makes you want to step back from the television cause you could almost smell their un-
bathed stench and drown in their life of hopelessness. Reno has no money for food, drugs or psychiatric help, and on top of that
one of his women is thinking of leaving him.
Feast II: Sloppy Seconds (2008)
"This ragtag bunch of unlikable characters spend the entire film hiding out from the monsters, who you barely get a chance to
see. Not that everything has to make sense, mind you, but it certainly slowed the action down to focus on girls getting shit on and
sprayed with monster cum. The biker chicks get naked, Greg drops a baby on it's head to distract the monsters and get away
from them, the catapult thing doesn't pay off, and finally the monsters flood the rooftop...I am very glad I didn't buy it, because I
would have felt incredibly pissed off if I had."
FleshEater (1988)
...a group of teenagers that go on a hay-ride around a farming community and plan to spend Halloween night there, drinking
beer, smoking weed, having sex, and getting killed out in the woods. We even get a good look at her pie. If you don’t know what
a pie is, well you probably shouldn't be reading this.
Ghoul School (1990)
Anyway, there is plenty of gruesome stuff (even if on a budget), as students and teachers are torn limb from limb by the painted-
blue zombies, and there's a fun axe-to-the-groin gag. You can tell it's a gore movie from gore fans, and they take the time to get
the splatter elements just right on their budget.
Grizzly (1976)
Meanwhile, the grizzly targets a ranger by toppling a watchtower on him, and severely mutilates a little boy by ripping his leg off
with fantastically gory results. In the end, they finally confront the bear and the ridiculously explosive conclusion is hard to
believe, but satisfying no less. This may not be high-quality popcorn, but I promise that you'll be smiling, you son of a bitch.
Haunting, The (1963)
If Hitchcock were to make a ghost picture, this would be it, but it would have been much more spooky and more real tension. The
few spooky scenes leave much to be desired . After so much build up the end is incredibly poor.
Hazing, The (1977)
Rod and Phil instruct Craig and Barney to strip naked and put on a jock strap. Sure it was light, and moderately suspenseful, but
it was a good time, and sports one hell of a kick in the balls at the end (kind of like prison)!
I Am Legend (2007)
Smith plays Robert Neville, a military virologist who is apparently the only person immune to a virus that began as a cure for
cancer and ended up destroying the world. The wild animals are CGI, the mutants are CGI, the city has to be CGI so I won't fault
them on that, but man they sure love their CGI.
Isle of the Damned (2008)
“ISLE OF THE DAMNED” is a spoof on 80’s Italian cannibal movies and it’s chock full of bloody nostalgia. In the movie a fat
treasure hunter named Thompson hires Jack Steele, a tough P.I. with a deep black guy’s voice to help him in his quest for the
lost treasure of Marco Polo, and off course the treasure lies on an island full of cannibals.
Last House on Dead End Street, The (1977)
"The characters aren't likable, in fact if you're like me, you'll hate every single one of them, so you don't really mind seeing any of
them die. That being said, one thing this movie does have going for it is shock value. The final scenes are a blood bath, and are
actually done pretty convincingly, considering how little money was probably spent on it."
Leprechaun (1993)
He then steals a toy car, just his size and drives it on the street. He gets pulled over by a cop and kills him. But not before playing
the most unbearably annoying game of hide and go seek. But alas, have we forgotten that the leprechaun is greedy and one last
coin rests in the belly of Ozzy. What you think and I hoped would happen doesn’t (the leprechaun carving the fat retards stomach
with his dirty nails in search of the coin.)
Leprechaun 2 (1994)
This time we find out that his birthday is on St. Patrick’s day (I could have never guessed) and that on every thousand birthday he
is able to seek out a bride. Morty, self proclaimed drinking master challenges the Leprechaun to a drinking contest at a bar. At
first he declines but when the pressure is on and a group of midgets start cheering for him saying: “One of us…” he starts
chugging bottle after bottle
Leprechaun 3 (1995)
"In this one the setting is Las Vegas and with it’s flashing lights and colorful characters your carried through the mess relatively
unharmed…relatively. ...the Leprechaun is hiding in the room and makes an unattractive topless blonde who comes out of a
television set seduce him. Now if that wasn‘t weird enough the blonde girl turns into a metal robot and electrocutes the horny
bastard. You see the craziest things in direct to video horror flicks !"
Long Island Cannibal Massacre, The (1980)
This is extremely low budget stuff with no real actors and unpolished gritty footage. So Jack hires Bruce, a man that always
wears a pillowcase and swimming goggles over his head and Zed, a young biker to kill victims for the hungry lepers.
Messiah of Evil (1973)
“…we soon find out that the town is under some kind of curse because a man in a black hat walked into town one day and did
some crazy shit, then cursed the town and promised that whenever the moon would turn blood red he would return. I think the
film suffers terrible from a lack of energy. For most of the film the characters sit around with nothing to do.”
Midnight Meat Train, The (2008)
"This movie was directed by Ryuhei Kitamura, and those who have seen his masterpiece "VERSUS" will be disappointed in the
pedestrian way he directs the film. His approach is more American than usual, and he does almost nothing to infuse the film with
the crazy kinetic energy of his earlier films."
Mother's Day (1980)
Essentially, this film is a rip-off (homage) to “TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE” ...After bonding in classic chick-flick fashion, the
girls are kidnapped by the boys and are summarily tied up, tied down, and made to entertain mother.
Night of the Creeps (1986)
By a weird twist of fate, they come across the preserved body of the boy who swallowed the slugs, and free him. Now unfrozen,
the boy is your basic zombie, only with an alien slug in his brain. He terrorizes some girls and then his head explodes and dozens
of little slugs wriggle off to begin the takeover of earth.
Night of the Living Dead (1968)
In the first ten minutes we have ourselves a zombie attack and a frantic woman running for shelter. If Harry was a strong as Ben
these two brutes would have had a hell of a battle while the zombies watched outside...A.brilliant scene where Harry’s kid has
turned into a zombie and attacks him.
One Missed Call (2008)
Well, they receive a mysterious phone call and when they don't recognize the number or ringtone, they leave it alone which
leaves them with one missed call. Get it? Pretty clever title, huh? Anyway, there is always a voicemail left and when they check it,
it is basically their last seconds of life being played out.
Phantasm (1979)
The ‘tall man’ is from another dimension and he is recruiting our dead corpses and turning them into midget slaves to work for
him in his dimension. . And now everyone’s favorite: the flying polished steel orb that sucks blood from you head !
Phantasm II (1988)
The “Tall Man” is back with an army of ugly midgets and half a dozen brain-sucking spheres. By the way there’s a sweet
chainsaw battle where the villain gets the chainsaw to the balls. Ouch! It was messy and painful.
Phantasm III Lord of the Dead (1994)
Tim, a ten year old has spent his time booby -trapping his house and learning to defend himself, even using handguns... we find
out that there is a miniature brain inside the spheres. Then we are slow to believe that Jody, who has apparently not been
shrunk into a ghoul exists inside a sphere and comes out to help in visions of some kind?
Phantasm IV Oblivion (1998)
Flashback after hallucination, after flashback… Please become familiar with this cycle for it pervades through the ENTIRE film. A
bit later he learns telekinesis; practicing by crushing midget minions with boulders. His brother shows up as a travel guide
through different dimensions.
Redeemer Son of Satan, The (1978)
The little boy appears in the room and gives the man an extra thumb on his right hand. That's right, folks, you read that right, an
extra thumb! Thumbs-up kid meets the priest outside before boarding the bus, and we notice that the priest has 2 thumbs. Why
does he need 2 thumbs? What does that even mean?
Rosemary's Baby (1968)
On a romantic night Guy, the loving husband gets his wife drunk and drugged so that Satan himself can mate with her. He had
made a deal with the witches to swap his firstborn child for a successful career, hoping that Rosemary would understand this in
the long run.
Scarecrow (2002)
Lester feels wronged and overlooked with a low self esteem because he lives in a cramped trailer with a whoring drunk of a
mother that brings men to the house every other day. He flips and jumps around swinging and killing with Kama blade in each
hand.
Scarecrow Slayer (2003)
A couple of college kids arrive at the farm at night and as part of a sorority initiation they must steal the scarecrow in the field.
The whole thing goes horribly wrong when Caleb shoots one of the kids, David, for trespassing. David’s spirit is caught in the
scarecrow and the movie continues to be lame and stupid.
Signal. The (2007)
Almost immediately, people start bashing the hell out of each other. They stab, punch, shoot, and massacre the ones they love
for no apparent reason except the unexplainable rage coursing through them. This was probably the goriest, most intense
horror film I have seen in a long while. It is entirely engrossing, brutal, and edge-of-your-seat fun. If it had had nudity, it would
have been a golden coffin winner for sure.
Simon, King of the Witches (1971)
This one, however, was written by a real warlock, and attempts to show a day in the life of an actual, practicing magician. ...
who lives in a sewer (yes, a SEWER), and walks around LA looking for people to pay him for magic tricks. Basically, he's a magic
hooker. After making the kid jerk off in a tin can to perform a spell that gains him the love of an old lady, they become fast friends.
Stanley (1972)
"STANLEY" is the story of a Vietnam vet named Tim who lives a hermit's life in a shack deep in the swamps. His only company is
a shit load of snakes that he's caught and befriended. It turns out Gloria is biting the heads off of the snakes Tim brings, so he
drops a hundred snakes on her and her husband's bed.
Three on a Meathook (1972)
Welcome my friends to a poorly thought-out , yet somehow interesting yarn about a farm boy who thinks he may be a killer and
the beautiful women he may have killed. They start seeing each other and Billy wants her to spend the weekend at his
farmhouse, to show her the beauty of nature. He (Pa) keeps her hidden someplace in the house and kills Billy’s guests to feed
Ma.
Two Thousand Maniacs (1964)
So now we have our two thousand maniac ghosts with ghost town and everything. They lure in northern tourists to the town and
warp their minds into thinking their the guests of honor but instead, secretly they are preparing gruesome torture games for
their own amusement.
Weasels Rip my flesh (1979)
...so horrible, so unbelievably inept and god-awful that you wouldn't even make your worst enemy sit through it. So the shit shark
weasel and the shit-squid weasel man are fighting it out in the most asinine way possible and they manage to kill themselves.
Hooray!
Wizard of Gore, The (2007)
Montag's act revolves around the murder of a naked woman, which is then revealed to be just an illusion as the people flee from
their seats. So far so good right? But days after the show, the girls that "died" in the show start showing up dead...exactly like
they died in Montag's show. They had a great idea, and they decided to shit on it by trying to make a mind-fuck movie, which only
ends up pissing the audience off.
Zombiegeddon (2003)
"Most filmmakers nowadays start out like Chris Watson did. He grabbed a video camera and got a couple of his friends together
to make a zombie movie. Lloyd "TROMA" Kaufman even makes an appearance as the wacky janitor...zombie action and
madness ensues."
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