A Virgin Among the Living Dead (1973)
Then Christina wakes up in the morning and finds (I kid you not) a black dildo statue on the floor. She crawls to it in slow motion
and smashes it, then Carmenze's blind slave girl appears in the corner and tells her that she has destroyed their only protection.
Trust me, I doesn't make much sense in the film either.
And Now the Screaming Starts (1973)
Then she starts seeing a long-haired man outside her bedroom window. He smiles devilishly, even though his eyes have been
gouged completely out of his greasy face. The original owner of the manor house, raped the virginal bride of his stable boy during
a drunken party one night, then chopped the man's hand off so that he would learn respect (that's how they did things back then).
Andy Warhol's Dracula (1974)
If a horny molasses monster could direct a film about Dracula, this would be the film it would make. Dracula eventually finds a
fourth daughter, an older one, who is a virgin. He bites her, and makes her his bride. But it may be too late because Mario, the
sexed-up stable boy, is on to the count and is out to kill him.
Andy Warhol's Frankenstein (1973)
"This is the first time Andy Warhol and Paul Morrisey team up to recreate horror's greatest monsters in their artsy, free-loving
hippie aesthetic. Baron Frankenstein lives in a castle in Europe with his wife and two children. They lead a relatively dull and
domesticated life together, but individually they all have secrets. The wife is an adulteress, the children are into voyeurism, and
the Baron is constructing the perfect pair of Serbian zombies."
Antropophagus (1980)
It turns out a seemingly normal man was set adrift on a raft with his wife and child, and when hunger set in he ate the shit out of
them, thus becoming a super cannibal maniac who has made short work of the entire island and is now targeting the succulent
morsels that the tourists represent.
Beyond, The (1981)
She is planning to restore the old place, but along the way she finds out that it sits over one of the seven doors to hell. Oops! But
then crazy shit starts to happen, and the blind chick is eaten by her dog while zombies watch. Kinky!
Beyond the Darkness (1979)
" I'd like to know how this freak grew up, his childhood. He was probably killing animals, cooking them and eating them in his
backyard. And the housekeeper is even worse than him. I don’t know about you but I like some back story on my murderer. I
guess you can never guess what to expect when you have pornographers making horror films. "
Blood (2000)
Lix’s blood is like an eye-opening drug that when consumed get’s the recipient very high. By now he’s humping her like three
times a day. Humping and drinking her sweet sunshine sugar milk.
Blood on Satan's Claw (1971)
They lure their young friends into the woods and pretend to play games with them, but in fact they kill them, sacrificing them to
their dark lord. He grabs a big-ass Anime-style sword and charges into the woods as the coven prepares to finally summon the
devil and one can only guess its to rule the world or something.
Blood Spattered Bride, The (1972)
"Then things get weird. Susan refuses to give her husband oral sex and then she begins to refuse his advances and even hide
from him at times. In this dreamlike state Susan repeatedly stabs her sleeping husband. She later tries to kill him for real, during a
walk at the beach with the dildo dagger."
Burial Ground (1981)
Evelyn (Michael’s mother) played by Mariangela Giordano is so heartbroken with her son’s death and when he returns, even as a
zombie, she lets him get fresh with her and offers him milk to his mouth. Yes a zombie boy sucks warm milk from his mother's
brest then bites and yanks a chunk of breast off her. Most of the characters are killed off by disembowelment or other cruel ways.
Cannibals (1980)
Suddenly three or four cannibals attack the boat and gang-eat the scientist’s wife. These cannibalistic frenzies are shot so close-
up that you see a mouth, then a breast, then a mouth chewing a steak, then some hair. Oh God, and these things run for several
hypnotizing minutes.
Devil's Backbone, The (2001)
Later we see he is also banging the much older, saggy skinned,
Carmen. Oh, and did I mention that Carmen has her right leg amputated at the knee and wears a scary looking wooden leg.He then
covers up his mess by tying the corpse, taking it downstairs and dropping it into a pool or murky water. Don’t ask. I don’t know
what a deep pool is doing in the basement of the kitchen.
Female Vampire (1973)
Then she meets up with some other people, has sex with them and drinks their genital blood. Then she goes to a castle
somewhere, where these 2 girls strip her naked and whip her, then she has sex with them and drinks their genital blood. Then
she meets up with this dumb-looking guy, who she falls in love with, but in the end she cannot overcome her blood lust and drinks
his genital blood. There is one boring as hell scene where she licks a bed post and has sex with a pillow, which went on forever!
Ghost Son (2006)
One time Stacey is breast-feeding the baby and he bites down on her nipple and causes her to bleed. Cool !, but baby’s don’t have
teeth…? My personal favorite is when baby is taking a shower with mom and he reaches down to grab and squeeze her boob !
The baby creeps her out all the time. I
Innocents, The (1961)
... the kids, Miles and Flora, have been possessed by the ghosts of the departed gardener and their former nanny. SAY WHAT?
How she came to this conclusion, I have no idea, but now she has vowed to force the spirits out of the kids and save their young
souls. The children, who straddle the delicate line between sweet and creepy.
Inside (2007)
Who would have imagined that you could make a hell of a tense movie about a pregnant lady fending off a crazy woman that takes
place pretty much in a bathroom?!? ...others show up at the house (friends of Sarah, cops, etc.) and end up getting stabbed,
bludgeoned, and dismembered in their quest to protect the defenseless Sarah.
Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires, The (1974)
Within the main chamber there is a very large cauldron with boiling blood. Around the cauldron are seven closed coffin like planks
where topless Chinese women victims can often be found screaming during an evening of blood drinking. The golden vampires,
once fed, wait for Dracula to bang his gong (I’m not kidding) and unleash them upon the village. The final battle between Helsing
and Dracula lasts…twenty seconds !
Macabre (1980)
Lucy has grown spiteful of her mother and begins a weird plan to throw things into disarray. And she starts by drowning her
brother Michael in the bathtub. How this could be revenge is only logical in a twisted mind and Lucy is just that. The blind man gets
aroused and gets fresh with Mrs. Baker during a strange erotic bed-making scene. Later on she withdraws deeper into her sole
obsession with her dead lover.
Mark of the Devil (1970)
In a small German town the local with-finder Albino (yes that’s his name) thinks he is above the law and could get away with
almost anything, abusing his power. Albino denounces Vanessa as a witch and she is whipped, poked (not with what your
thinking) with a pointy metal stick and incarcerated. ...there is a young woman accused of fornication with Satan and being
pregnant with his child.
Mountain of the Cannibal God, The (1978)
While the tribe is sleeping, recovering from their lust orgies a cannibal unties Susan and tries to rape her. He is caught and has
his penis chopped off. You get a full frontal shot of the action. I thought this was done extremely well. The next sexually charged
scene is of a boy having intercourse with a pig. The pig squeals crazily !
Nekromantik (1987)
One evening he brings Betty home a surprise. Inside a black plastic bag is a full rotting corpse. They rip open the bag right there
and begin to make love to the corpse. To cope with the loss of his bitch girlfriend he goes to the movies and kills a cat and bathes
in its blood and meats. With this not being enough he takes a prostitute to a graveyard, kills her and well… you can imagine the
rest.
Pieces (1982)
We open on a young 10yr old kid piecing together a nudie puzzle on the floor of his living room. His mother walks in from behind
and freaks out destroying the puzzle and most of the room. She asks him for a bag. He returns with an axe. He whacks her good a
couple of times in the head then saws up her body into pieces. Our chainsaw wielding hero does a darn good job of cutting things
up. There are a couple of chainsaw beheadings, an arm sliced off and cool gruesome shots.
Sinful Dwarf, The (1973)
Dwarves are great, but perverted pimp dwarves are even better!
Olaf is a creepy dwarf guy who runs a boarding house kind of thing with his bat-shit crazy mother. But behind the scenes, the
boarding house is merely a cover for a den of drugged-up girls who are being held against their wills in the attic and are pimped
out by Olaf the sinful dwarf.
Tenebre (1982)
"All of the killings seem to be related to Neal’s book. In one occasion pages from the novel were stuffed into a victim’s mouth. And
off course Neal begins to receive anonymous letters from a supposed obsessed fan turned killer." "... the ex wife gets her arm
chopped off in one of the most splatterific scenes I have ever seen. She holds her freaking stump as blood squirts allover the
walls."
Two Evil Eyes (1990)
"Then the old man dies while under hypnosis and he’s caught between this world and the next. He says that the others are going
to use him as a vessel to cross to our world. The second story is titled: “THE BLACK CAT” directed by Argento. Harvey Keitel plays
Roderick Usher, an unstable crime photographer. As to Argento’s story …casting Harvey Keitel in this role was really weird."
Who Can Kill a Child ? (1976)
But soon we start to realize, if not immediately by the creepy aura the kids are giving off, that all the adults have been killed off
because the kids have suddenly gone berserk and become homicidal. The third great moment involves the change that takes
place in the child baking in Evelyn's oven. That's right folks, a fetus kills its mother. There's a first for everything!
Wicker Man, The (1973)
There is everything from boisterous song and dance to sexual aberrations and bizarre rituals. Anyway in this rite young naked
girls in a circle take turns jumping through a fire pit in the center. The big May festival is here and all the freaks are out in their
animal costumes. It’s like a carnival of depravity.
Zombie (1979)
Now, I will agree that not all Fulci films are wonderful works of gut-punching art, but a great Fulci film is like a sledgehammer to
the groin, and this movie, "ZOMBIE", is a spiked sledgehammer set ablaze. There is an amazing, cringe-worthy scene in which a
beautiful naked woman has her head forced toward a broken doorway by a rather violent zombie, and the closer she gets you
start to realize that he's going to poke her in the eye with a splintery piece of door, and the final gory finish has to be seen to be
believed.
Zombie Holocaust (1980)
This is neither a zombie movie nor a holocaust. Susan gets chased into the woods and lassoed with a bright red ribbon (I kid you
not). Peter is captured and George has his eyes poked out, disemboweled, and eaten. ... and I don’t remember how Lori ends up
with the cannibals inside a large cave, fully naked, having a cannibal paint blue flowers on her body.
Then Christina wakes up in the morning and finds (I kid you not) a black dildo statue on the floor. She crawls to it in slow motion
and smashes it, then Carmenze's blind slave girl appears in the corner and tells her that she has destroyed their only protection.
Trust me, I doesn't make much sense in the film either.
And Now the Screaming Starts (1973)
Then she starts seeing a long-haired man outside her bedroom window. He smiles devilishly, even though his eyes have been
gouged completely out of his greasy face. The original owner of the manor house, raped the virginal bride of his stable boy during
a drunken party one night, then chopped the man's hand off so that he would learn respect (that's how they did things back then).
Andy Warhol's Dracula (1974)
If a horny molasses monster could direct a film about Dracula, this would be the film it would make. Dracula eventually finds a
fourth daughter, an older one, who is a virgin. He bites her, and makes her his bride. But it may be too late because Mario, the
sexed-up stable boy, is on to the count and is out to kill him.
Andy Warhol's Frankenstein (1973)
"This is the first time Andy Warhol and Paul Morrisey team up to recreate horror's greatest monsters in their artsy, free-loving
hippie aesthetic. Baron Frankenstein lives in a castle in Europe with his wife and two children. They lead a relatively dull and
domesticated life together, but individually they all have secrets. The wife is an adulteress, the children are into voyeurism, and
the Baron is constructing the perfect pair of Serbian zombies."
Antropophagus (1980)
It turns out a seemingly normal man was set adrift on a raft with his wife and child, and when hunger set in he ate the shit out of
them, thus becoming a super cannibal maniac who has made short work of the entire island and is now targeting the succulent
morsels that the tourists represent.
Beyond, The (1981)
She is planning to restore the old place, but along the way she finds out that it sits over one of the seven doors to hell. Oops! But
then crazy shit starts to happen, and the blind chick is eaten by her dog while zombies watch. Kinky!
Beyond the Darkness (1979)
" I'd like to know how this freak grew up, his childhood. He was probably killing animals, cooking them and eating them in his
backyard. And the housekeeper is even worse than him. I don’t know about you but I like some back story on my murderer. I
guess you can never guess what to expect when you have pornographers making horror films. "
Blood (2000)
Lix’s blood is like an eye-opening drug that when consumed get’s the recipient very high. By now he’s humping her like three
times a day. Humping and drinking her sweet sunshine sugar milk.
Blood on Satan's Claw (1971)
They lure their young friends into the woods and pretend to play games with them, but in fact they kill them, sacrificing them to
their dark lord. He grabs a big-ass Anime-style sword and charges into the woods as the coven prepares to finally summon the
devil and one can only guess its to rule the world or something.
Blood Spattered Bride, The (1972)
"Then things get weird. Susan refuses to give her husband oral sex and then she begins to refuse his advances and even hide
from him at times. In this dreamlike state Susan repeatedly stabs her sleeping husband. She later tries to kill him for real, during a
walk at the beach with the dildo dagger."
Burial Ground (1981)
Evelyn (Michael’s mother) played by Mariangela Giordano is so heartbroken with her son’s death and when he returns, even as a
zombie, she lets him get fresh with her and offers him milk to his mouth. Yes a zombie boy sucks warm milk from his mother's
brest then bites and yanks a chunk of breast off her. Most of the characters are killed off by disembowelment or other cruel ways.
Cannibals (1980)
Suddenly three or four cannibals attack the boat and gang-eat the scientist’s wife. These cannibalistic frenzies are shot so close-
up that you see a mouth, then a breast, then a mouth chewing a steak, then some hair. Oh God, and these things run for several
hypnotizing minutes.
Devil's Backbone, The (2001)
Later we see he is also banging the much older, saggy skinned,
Carmen. Oh, and did I mention that Carmen has her right leg amputated at the knee and wears a scary looking wooden leg.He then
covers up his mess by tying the corpse, taking it downstairs and dropping it into a pool or murky water. Don’t ask. I don’t know
what a deep pool is doing in the basement of the kitchen.
Female Vampire (1973)
Then she meets up with some other people, has sex with them and drinks their genital blood. Then she goes to a castle
somewhere, where these 2 girls strip her naked and whip her, then she has sex with them and drinks their genital blood. Then
she meets up with this dumb-looking guy, who she falls in love with, but in the end she cannot overcome her blood lust and drinks
his genital blood. There is one boring as hell scene where she licks a bed post and has sex with a pillow, which went on forever!
Ghost Son (2006)
One time Stacey is breast-feeding the baby and he bites down on her nipple and causes her to bleed. Cool !, but baby’s don’t have
teeth…? My personal favorite is when baby is taking a shower with mom and he reaches down to grab and squeeze her boob !
The baby creeps her out all the time. I
Innocents, The (1961)
... the kids, Miles and Flora, have been possessed by the ghosts of the departed gardener and their former nanny. SAY WHAT?
How she came to this conclusion, I have no idea, but now she has vowed to force the spirits out of the kids and save their young
souls. The children, who straddle the delicate line between sweet and creepy.
Inside (2007)
Who would have imagined that you could make a hell of a tense movie about a pregnant lady fending off a crazy woman that takes
place pretty much in a bathroom?!? ...others show up at the house (friends of Sarah, cops, etc.) and end up getting stabbed,
bludgeoned, and dismembered in their quest to protect the defenseless Sarah.
Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires, The (1974)
Within the main chamber there is a very large cauldron with boiling blood. Around the cauldron are seven closed coffin like planks
where topless Chinese women victims can often be found screaming during an evening of blood drinking. The golden vampires,
once fed, wait for Dracula to bang his gong (I’m not kidding) and unleash them upon the village. The final battle between Helsing
and Dracula lasts…twenty seconds !
Macabre (1980)
Lucy has grown spiteful of her mother and begins a weird plan to throw things into disarray. And she starts by drowning her
brother Michael in the bathtub. How this could be revenge is only logical in a twisted mind and Lucy is just that. The blind man gets
aroused and gets fresh with Mrs. Baker during a strange erotic bed-making scene. Later on she withdraws deeper into her sole
obsession with her dead lover.
Mark of the Devil (1970)
In a small German town the local with-finder Albino (yes that’s his name) thinks he is above the law and could get away with
almost anything, abusing his power. Albino denounces Vanessa as a witch and she is whipped, poked (not with what your
thinking) with a pointy metal stick and incarcerated. ...there is a young woman accused of fornication with Satan and being
pregnant with his child.
Mountain of the Cannibal God, The (1978)
While the tribe is sleeping, recovering from their lust orgies a cannibal unties Susan and tries to rape her. He is caught and has
his penis chopped off. You get a full frontal shot of the action. I thought this was done extremely well. The next sexually charged
scene is of a boy having intercourse with a pig. The pig squeals crazily !
Nekromantik (1987)
One evening he brings Betty home a surprise. Inside a black plastic bag is a full rotting corpse. They rip open the bag right there
and begin to make love to the corpse. To cope with the loss of his bitch girlfriend he goes to the movies and kills a cat and bathes
in its blood and meats. With this not being enough he takes a prostitute to a graveyard, kills her and well… you can imagine the
rest.
Pieces (1982)
We open on a young 10yr old kid piecing together a nudie puzzle on the floor of his living room. His mother walks in from behind
and freaks out destroying the puzzle and most of the room. She asks him for a bag. He returns with an axe. He whacks her good a
couple of times in the head then saws up her body into pieces. Our chainsaw wielding hero does a darn good job of cutting things
up. There are a couple of chainsaw beheadings, an arm sliced off and cool gruesome shots.
Sinful Dwarf, The (1973)
Dwarves are great, but perverted pimp dwarves are even better!
Olaf is a creepy dwarf guy who runs a boarding house kind of thing with his bat-shit crazy mother. But behind the scenes, the
boarding house is merely a cover for a den of drugged-up girls who are being held against their wills in the attic and are pimped
out by Olaf the sinful dwarf.
Tenebre (1982)
"All of the killings seem to be related to Neal’s book. In one occasion pages from the novel were stuffed into a victim’s mouth. And
off course Neal begins to receive anonymous letters from a supposed obsessed fan turned killer." "... the ex wife gets her arm
chopped off in one of the most splatterific scenes I have ever seen. She holds her freaking stump as blood squirts allover the
walls."
Two Evil Eyes (1990)
"Then the old man dies while under hypnosis and he’s caught between this world and the next. He says that the others are going
to use him as a vessel to cross to our world. The second story is titled: “THE BLACK CAT” directed by Argento. Harvey Keitel plays
Roderick Usher, an unstable crime photographer. As to Argento’s story …casting Harvey Keitel in this role was really weird."
Who Can Kill a Child ? (1976)
But soon we start to realize, if not immediately by the creepy aura the kids are giving off, that all the adults have been killed off
because the kids have suddenly gone berserk and become homicidal. The third great moment involves the change that takes
place in the child baking in Evelyn's oven. That's right folks, a fetus kills its mother. There's a first for everything!
Wicker Man, The (1973)
There is everything from boisterous song and dance to sexual aberrations and bizarre rituals. Anyway in this rite young naked
girls in a circle take turns jumping through a fire pit in the center. The big May festival is here and all the freaks are out in their
animal costumes. It’s like a carnival of depravity.
Zombie (1979)
Now, I will agree that not all Fulci films are wonderful works of gut-punching art, but a great Fulci film is like a sledgehammer to
the groin, and this movie, "ZOMBIE", is a spiked sledgehammer set ablaze. There is an amazing, cringe-worthy scene in which a
beautiful naked woman has her head forced toward a broken doorway by a rather violent zombie, and the closer she gets you
start to realize that he's going to poke her in the eye with a splintery piece of door, and the final gory finish has to be seen to be
believed.
Zombie Holocaust (1980)
This is neither a zombie movie nor a holocaust. Susan gets chased into the woods and lassoed with a bright red ribbon (I kid you
not). Peter is captured and George has his eyes poked out, disemboweled, and eaten. ... and I don’t remember how Lori ends up
with the cannibals inside a large cave, fully naked, having a cannibal paint blue flowers on her body.
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