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A roundtable of Super-Reviewers
Disabled due to maintenence.
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Welcome to Strictly Splatter, your home for obscure horror cinema. My name is Jorge and I run the place along with my good pal Jose. Whether it’s schlock, sleaze or gore, we strive to scour the dumpsters in search of lesser known or forgotten horror flicks. If your tastes in horror films are unconventional, or quite simply bizarre, then Strictly Splatter is the place for you.
- Jorge & Jose

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Escape from Hellhole (1983)
"Indri is taken back to the house and we see her seducing MG and kissing him. When he tries to slip his tongue into her mouth, she bites the tip off! This results in MG going to the hospital and Indri taken back to the camp and strapped upon the X-shaped torture wheel where she will be whipped and humiliated."
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Guinea Pig: He Never Dies (1986)
"The stupid fuck then tries all sorts of torture on his body but becomes frustrated because he really wants to die! The blood and gore is nice, but not as visceral as what you’d expect from the infamous series. But everything is handled like a joke; there is no meanness or real cruelty. He is just clowning around."
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The Vampire Lovers (1970)
"This entire film is just an hour and a half of dullness. It follows a vampire named Marcilla who is put into the care of Grand Moff Tarkin himself, Peter Cushing, unbeknownst that she's a bloodsucker with an appetite for the ladies. We get everything from Carmilla chasing Emma around naked, to a shot that solely consists of a close-up of boobs pressing against a cross, it's just all very pointless."
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Brain Dead (2007)
"The Orc-faced zombie creatures terrorize the California countryside. Two felons on the run, two cute hiker chicks lost in the woods, and a reverend and his sinfully innocent secretary find themselves trapped in a cabin together. Ultimately they find themselves at the mercy of the alien zombies who have no real rhyme or reason but to eat brains!!"
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Jorge A Lopez
webmaster, writer
likes: malt liquor, cheese burgers, cheap cigars, 70s Euro Sleaze |
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Jose Prendes
co-creator, writer
likes: J&B Scotch, sushi, big boobs, 80s Horror flicks |
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LINK TO US

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Five
Coffins
Excellent |
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Four
Coffins
Very Good |
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Three
Coffins
Good |
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Two
Coffins
Fair |
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One
Coffin
Poor |
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Empty
Coffins
Squalid |
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Red
Death
Coffin
Painful |
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Gold
Coffin
A true Masterpiece! Perfect score all-around (3B's) |

Congratulations to Sean Brown for winning a copy of Argento's Giallo (2009)!
SCREENERS
Because of the overwhelming quanity of submissions we will no longer be able to review screeners on this website.
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